Sunday, January 1, 2012

'The Other Choice'

Do you ever find yourself sitting, staring out of a window, totally consumed by thoughts?  As I get older, I find myself doing this more and more.
I'm not perfect by any means, and have made my fair share of mistakes in life.  Growing up, I have learned by my mistakes and have moved on.  But recently, I have found myself, reviewing my life; asking myself questions about what if I had made 'the other choice'?  I have always been told not to ever ask the 'what if' question about happenings in your life because you will drive yourself crazy, and that it's alright to make mistakes if you use them as a learning tool and correct yourself as you move on in life.
But right now, I'm having a difficult time dealing with some of the decisions I have made for me, and for my family.  Decisions that had major effects on all of us, effects that could have been avoided if I had made 'the other choice'.

I am a true believer in God.  I believe that my life has a purpose and that with God in my life, all things are possible.  I pray on a daily basis and understand that not all questions posed are answered the way one might want them to be.  God also tells me that we are 'forgiven' for our mistakes or bad doings in life if we seek forgiveness.
But how do I forgive myself?  How do I get past the mistakes that I have made, knowing that things would have been so much different if I had made 'the other choice'?