Tuesday, December 13, 2011


What do you do when you find yourself sitting on the fence?  Unsure of decisions about life-changing events.  Is this not called 'ambivalence'?  I believe it is.

Definition of Ambivalence:

1.  simultaneous and contradictory attitudes or feelings (as attraction and repulsion) toward            an object, person, or action
.       a continual fluctuation (as between one thing and its opposite)          b : uncertainty as to which approach to follow

For almost a year now, I have been contemplating the start of a new business...actually two, but one would really feed the other.  I have found every reason in the book for not making this move.  I have been a business owner for the greater part of my adulthood and am comfortable in this adventure.  But, my ambivalence toward beginning something new has taken me aback.  This is not my norm.
A lot of times, people avoid doing something new because they are afraid of change.  This has never really been a factor for me before.  I have always invited change in my life, it is something that invigorates me.  But why am I dragging my feet?
Probably one of the most important points in my ambivalence is the lack in capital funds.  Seriously, how do you start a business with minimal funds?  I have already surveyed and am aware of the success this business would have.  I'm told to recruit investors.  In this economy, that is not an easy task.  I'm told to start it out of my home.  With limited space, I don't see that being an option.
I'm told to have faith in myself and believe.  I do, but the ambivalence is still there.  I spend each day spinning my wheels, searching the internet for hours at a time, gathering every piece of relevant information available. I mean, really, you should see my notebook!  OCD major!
Am I afraid of failure?  I don't think that is it.  I have failed at numerous things over the course of my life.  So what is it?  Why do I continue to be ambivalent about beginning something that I know to be a sure thing?  
Could it be that I am stuck in my comfort zone?  Have I gotten so used to my daily routine, that stepping out of it is more of a hassle to me than what it might be worth?  I'm not sure.  Do you see my dilemma here?  What do you think?