Monday, May 16, 2011

Why Do You Treat Me Differently?

First, I would like to apologize for the loss of my first post.  I began to go back and re-write it, but things never seem to come out as good the second time around so I just decided to forget it and give the thanks to Google.
Image representing Google as depicted in Crunc...Image via CrunchBase

About two years ago, I began to fall into financial difficulties along with 90% of the rest of the world.  I certainly felt the embarrassment, but didn't feel alone.  Not long ago, we lost just about everything material that we owned.  I am not angry or hateful about this.  I am thankful that we have each other and that we still have jobs and our health.  I have never lived on this end of the spectrum and it is so very different than what I was used to. I now find myself needing the help, instead of being the one to lend help to others.  It's quite different for me and has taken me time to adjust to this new way of living.  One thing that I am especially grateful for after our experience is that I have taken time to stop and 'smell the coffee'.  I have never done that.  I lost track of what was truly important to me in my life.  I was engulfed by the constant go,go,go and never took the time for the little things in life.  This experience has left me more appreciative of what I do have and has shown me how important my family is to my total being.

What I don't understand is why some people are treated differently based on what they own, or how much money they have.  Call me naive or whatever.  It's bullshit!  I am the same person that I was a month ago, a year ago.  I have never flaunted anything we had.  Hell, most people didn't even know where we lived or how we lived until they came to visit us.  But last week, I had an experience that just blew my mind and pissed me off past reason!
Gavel & StrykerImage by KeithBurtis via Flickr

To make a long story short, people are judged by what they own and how much money they appear to have and are treated accordingly.  The level of trust decreases and respect seems to go straight out the window!  This to me is totally unacceptable!  This sucks!  Whatever happened to treating a person according to their merits?  Being kind to a person for who they actually are and for the efforts?  I am totally amazed by all of this.  I do not look at the world in black and white.  I realize that there are gray areas and everyone deserves a chance.  I also realize that nothing in life is free and that if you want something bad enough, you need to work for it.  What has happened to the compassion in life?  What has happened to the acceptance?  Where has the 'Okay, you got some rough bumps along the way, but you can rebound' kind of attitude gone, the encouragement of others?  Why is the 'support of others' so difficult for most people.

Love Love LoveImage by Gregory Jordan via Flickr

Surely, I am not the only way feeling this way?  Do you get treated differently because you do or don't have a certain amount of  money?  Are you looked down on because you are not in perfect health?  Do share!

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hocam said...

Hi Anna, welcome back:-) I'm delighted to see you posting again. I thought you were gone. Glad it was just a Google blip.
I agree with you totally. I love Turkey and we holiday there a lot. The thing I most dislike is the class system there. There is a caretaker on our complex, hardworking, decent , honest. If he worked as hard here he could change his life but has almost no chance there. Many of the rich Turks do not see him. He is only there to "serve"
He has become like a son to us and we asked him to come and stay with us in Ireland for a holiday. We joked that he might marry one of our daughters. They were horrified that we would think this was socially acceptable. They also wanted to know where he would stay, when he was with us. Again horrified that he would stay in our house, to which I replied even the dog stays in our house.
I detest how he is judged by his job, his income, his belongings. He is a decent human being. People see some jobs as high status, but where would we be without each other. We need doctors, lawyers etc but equally we need caretakers, road sweepers, shop workers etc. We are interdependent. I choose my friends by what is in their hearts, not what they earn.

alittlelessuseless said...

TOtally agree and it sucks big time. I had a strange conversation with a lady at my school one day. we were talking about computers, and we had both just bought a new one. she had purchased a laptop for emails and the occasional internet shopping spree, and I had bought a new desk top for my blogging, digital scrapping and photo editing (so obviously I needed something a little better than the average desktop) So anyway she had a little *gasp* moment when we swapped info on price. A few days later a friend from my kids school mentions to me, that she had this lady over the next day and the lady was asking what kind of furniture we had in our house, and what brands etc.... so my friends reply to her was what people own doesnt define who they are. I thought she was extremely rude to get nosey because my computer cost more than hers. I had a purpose for mine and needed it to do things she couldnt even understand...but up until then she thought that we werent "well to do" or whatever so she didnt know how to react.
A person is who they are not what they own.

bjbohls said...

Hello Anna -

I know exactly what you're talking about. It not only happens in your own personal experiences, it's happening all around the world. In business, in politics, and in religious organizations as well.

People's values are all messed up Anna. There's a whole other class system occurring which many people are blind too.

Do me a favor. After reading me, look around your life for a few days. Really observe experiences every where you go. You will see it at your son's school if you observe.

Merit? I can write a novel on this topic. In America, often times the very worst person for the job is chosen. The best candidate is often over-looked. Why do you think this might be so? Because the best candidate is not performing unethically under the table.

Face value, the best candidate is the same as he/she is behind closed doors. The worst candidate whom is chosen, is the better candidate for making the hiring manager look good. The worst candidate will perform unethically in order to notch a belt mark in his/her superior's eye.

Long winded I know, but is very true. Look and observe around you these next few days. What you're talking about and what I'm saying here, are both one in the same.

We're both talking about perception. How others are perceived. You know, perception doesn't necessarily mean something is true..i.e..depth perception. The fish appears closer than it actually is when water (and glass) are added to the view.

The lady above who talks about the other woman gasping at the price of her computer. That's a perception; a false one in which she has no business gauging anyway.

I'll be interested in hearing about your views. You write nicely and express your self wonderfully. Great post!